I have an open heart. It is more open than I can remember as I have lived this life. I love how it feels when my heart expands with love for myself, for others, the Earth and for God. When I say to God, “May I serve you and others however I can”, I literally feel tingles expand feet beyond my physical body. When I feel gratitude for others and the things that I have in my life, I feel warmth and strength. When I feel the love for my three children, I could cry with delight. When I tell God that I trust that I will be well provided for on this path, I feel excitement and anticipation for the future. I have finally allowed my heart to speak loudly and I have decided to listen; although, it is still a young relationship. Being so open, my mind and emotions are working so hard to get my attention… They have an array of spoken doubts, insecurities, and reactions. For every time I have felt rejection or fear, they remember. At this time, I feel like I need to listen and assure them that I am safe, strong and resilient. To ignore them and say “all is fine” will put them in a place of disconnect and future disruption while to spend my every moment of awareness with them will spiral me down into despair and cause me to only search for problems.
It is a very graceful balance that I seek. One where I am open to the flow of love, I recognize my insecurities, and I fortify myself with qualities such as trust, non-judgment and unconditional self love. Self Love IS NOT Selfishness. Self Love is the most beautiful, perfect, sacred and amazing gift that one could give to oneself. Self love comes from the heart. NOTHING from the heart is negative. So why do we fear having an open heart? Because it is the place that our humanness meets our spirit. It is the central place for deciphering the messages we receive from the divine and from the ordinary world around us. It is the place of Choice. It is the place of Balance. When we hurt, we need to heal. If we do not heal, then the heart becomes filled with memories of loss.
When we heal, we can release the pain from this perfect place and fill it with the love that we have for ourself. We remember everything. Just like a child who winces when he remembers being hurt, our heart winces when it remembers rejection, judgment and pain. Love your heart for all that it is filled with. Hold it with patience, honesty and beauty. Forgive your heart for all it has learned and unleash it to discover infinite relationships in your world and beyond. Your heart remembers everything. Remind it of the beauty, happiness, and fun that it holds.
An Open Heart has provided me with a very different perspective of me. We are still working on the language, but I know that the lessons will be pure love.